Third Eye Blind

 

I think St. Paul in one of his letters to the Corinthians likened gossip as some form of spiritual assassination, in that case I am in a den of fire with a pack of robber barons. The location of this ‘den’ will remain to be seen; as I watch those close to me frolic on pins and needles with those who breathe such noxious fumes I shudder to see what the future has in store for him on all levels of human mortality (physical, spiritual, and mental). If only the common man/woman on the street knew the ramifications of their actions, and that we  that we live in a universe where every action has a

reaction. Now you may retort; then Bikim why do ’good’ people die of cancer? To that I can only respond, death is not the end. It is this type of binary thinking that has stunted the growth of the modern church for the past century.       


If St. Paul got his illuminated scepter from Christ then what was he saying about kats that assassinated the souls of the innocent? On a mountainside just off the river Jordan Christ talks to among his disciples, and a small crowd. In what is most notably the beatitudes (Matt 7:1-6) he tells the group to stop looking for a speck in his brother’s eye and ignoring the plank in his own; interesting language for a carpenter? Perhaps he’s trying to say you shouldn’t throw stones ‘if you live in a glass house?’ I am sure if he had the vernacular he would have used it. Later in his musings on the artistry of hypocrisy he likens hypocrites to hogs; saying “do not throw pearls to pigs. If you do they mat trample them under their feet. And tear them to pieces.” I am sure Jesus had nothing against pigs (although he was a practicing Jew, he didn’t eat them); there’s a Proverb(Proverb 4:23) that says guard your heart, it the source of life. Among many I believe this is one of the ranking instructions from the creator to all of humanity before departing the heavens to experience this existence.  


What can we say of Pearls? The world is your oyster? Only the pursuit for those of  us who reside in the United States. I am not saying ignore the ignorant, but  I am advising that you treat them like a sloppy drunk driver on a slippery winter road. If you have any to spear perhaps you could drop a few ‘pearls’ of wisdom, but if you ever skimmed proverbs we know how fools react to good medicine.

Lovin' On Jesus

A few weeks ago while taking a break @ my present place of employment I had a chance encounter with a young man who attends school at Geneva College. Our encounter began like most clumsy awkward ones that involve two strangers. He seemed like a nice enough of a guy, apparently he was landscaping to make ends meet during the summer months, and came to the theatre to see A-Team with a group of friends.  In the moment of that brief encounter he projected his entire starry eyed hopes for a future in ministry that might include some time in Africa. I responded to his hopes and dreams with a smile, and told him about a grassroots Christian community I am affiliated with in Philadelphia called Broad Street Ministries.  Before we parted and he rejoined his friends in the auditorium to enjoy the A-Team he asked me if I was “lovin on Jesus.” I was mortified, and could not believe that he had ‘put me on blast.’ I am by no stretch of the imagination a ‘closet Christian’ I was born into a Baptist family ; I am the son of a deacon. There is no shortage of JESUS JUICE in my life, however I just choose to sip not chug.  I suppose  this is one of the drawbacks to living in a place like Beaver Falls ; but I consoled in a friend via a Facebook dialogue, about the above event. And she told me it may have been a simple issue of maturity. I figured she may have been right, and not to focus too much on the issue.















One of the main reasons this frightened me  is perhaps because I saw a bit of myself in that young man in the lobby. There was a time in my life when I aligned myself with a student organization that helps matriculate ‘church kids’ into the college community in a safe paced  manner; via Thursday worship services, fall retreats, and bible studies. After all a frog was once a tadpole, hence we must all grow. I suppose I shriek at the idea that I may have once in my life made someone feel the way that kid did me. Between my time at Camp Ladore  and  Broad Street Ministries I think I have fulfilled that commission laid before me by the creator, and honestly I still am a bit clueless as to my purpose on this planet. I try not to let that cloud my mind. I think there was a part of my cosmic dharma that had to be fulfilled at these two places, aand there is nothing else for me to do in this arena of life. Am I going to stop caring about the homeless?  No. But I do believe that it is time for me to stop being so overtly altruistic. Those I worked shoulder to shoulder with at BSM and Ladore are some of the most heartfelt wonderful human being I have ever had the pleasure of knowing in my 30 years on this planet (are the rest assholes? No I love you all too). But there is a time when a man has to learn to chew gum and walk at the same time. So break out the Dentyne bitches---> I am trying to get fresh, its why I burnt the soapbox, and used the ashes to make war paint so I can take on this new phase in the beautiful story that has become my life.

Where’s he been?

Well out side of being an ambassador for Hollywood, I have been catching up on a great life that I left behind here in the Best Western PA. Great friends, great people; and a bunch of other as yet to be explained things. I would first like to say Pittsburgh maybe one of the most beautiful regions of the country if not the world. They don’t have anything that is exotic, so there is no reason to deal with rabid tourist. The biggest try from what I can see is their sports teams. And I LOVE the zeal of the PITTSBURGH FANS for a host of reasons. The food is awesome, and it’s a sandwich town, and this is coming from a guy that hails from a town internationally known for a sandwich.

But on a more serious note I plan to take this blog in an entirely new direction. I am burning the soapbox! I am going to hug you AMERICA (you can get in there too rest of the world). I am talking interpersonal type stuff. Not who I am dating or anything like that but I have been being inspired by my friends in the facebook universe. One guy in particular (I’ll protect his anonymity) he always post little proverbs throughout the day. He’s a musician so I suppose his spirit is very porous in that sense, and they usually have a striking impression on me. I don’t plan on cataloging these mini proverbs, but I’ll let them touch me so I can touch you (get over here WORLD).

The HOOD Needs aLOT of help

The faith system that I subscribe to suffers from the maladies of what surmounts to be bad PR, and brittle leadership at the very least; in columns where the world is to believe that we are a pillar of hope to the world. I follow a faith system where glee and joyful banter drown out the suffering of those who are sleepwalking in the slums of skid row and ghettos across the nation. This is the only time in history that anyone can pride themselves on coming from the ghetto, but during WWII ghettos were a place where people went to be killed. It still serves the same purpose in my time; but it is a shame that the inhabitants of these ghettos don’t see the star that marks them for death. In fact it would be an insult to the creator I know to call the sense of pride some of my brethren call living in any ‘hood’ here in Philadelphia or anywhere else. To be a star by definition is a beacon of the creator’s providence, love, commitment, and eternal love for his children. like the halo that is donned by my fellow Americans that inhabit the ‘ghettos’ of America’s metropolises to the plight of the sodomites in the Old Testament. Those people were offered a better alternative to the life that they were living, and the instead choose to carry on their mindless lifestyle. I am not condemning homosexuality, as this story is repeatily misconstrued to condemn the actions of out brothers and sisters in the gay community. The sodomites were condemned for abusing their earthly vessels, because they insisted on raping the angels (visitors) that came to town, and rejected the offer of Lot’s daughters. Lot was just making his guests feel welcome by protecting them from an impending rape from the local towns people. I know it sounds messed up and sexist but children were extremely pious towards their parents, and of Lot told his daughters to go out and offer themselves to the mob they probably would have done it without any protest.

To return to my point in the above paragraph; I believe whole heartedly in a faith system that shelters leaders that pound a nail in the flesh of the crucified  Christ on a perpetual basis. I have seen churches that are housed and established literally; garrisoned in the heart of west Philadelphia, which unfortunately means that there are dozens of drinking establishments and delis in a dozen directions (no an exaggeration). I guess the question I am trying to pose if any is that what is the role of the contemporary black church in reparing thier delapidated communities?

Faceprint

We are soliders






Chorus


We are soldiers in the army


We got to fight, although we have to cry


We got to hold up the blood stain banner


We got to hold it up until we die






Repeat






Verse


My mother was a soldier


She had her hand on the gospel plow,


But one day she got old


She couldn't fight anymore


She said 'I've got to stand here and fight anyhow!'






Chorus





Mediatation:



When his disciples asked Jesus taught them the Lord’s prayer. When I pray or mediatate I focus on certain things, perhaps and ideal that I’d like to understand on a deeper level, andI let it float in my mind’s eye for a moment or two. I usually do better when I am in a moment desperation, for example in my perpetual search for a steady job I kneel before the Almighty in the search for answers. When I was in the military we had a mantra, or as soliders call them ‘battlecries.’ A battle cry can be anything to get a unit through a particular set of training like a 3 mile road march with a 5 bound rucksack, or something as simple as morning PT. I said that to say that the result of the training is a specific skill set, or at least the solider has come out a bit stronger than when he or she entered a specific training engagment. And we all know the old adage "there are no athieist in foxholes;" wiether it’s true or not I am not sure. I don’t think God would hold anything against you if you showed up in heaven after being killed in a foxhole.

If I could ask Jesus I’d ask him how can I put my prayers and deepest desires to practical use to best serve the world? And well multi task while perpetually upgrading myself. I’d Tell Jesus I know the story and I just want help. I’d tell him that I know scholars have none of the answers I am looking for, and while angels are pretty they can’t help me either. I can imagine me and Jesus sitting on my favorite METRO bus or train in Washington over a cup of tea trying to find a feasible solution to my latest query. I look to him out the corner of my eye waiting for an answer. But deep down I already know it, and he smiles at me because I know that the answer lies within me. Unable to bottle my anger and frustration any longer I’d ask him “What the Fuck man? “ Publically crying, I assume the fetal position in his lap. As drool and tears fall from my face and stain his jeans, he strokes my face in a kind of silent assurance. My whining and weezing slowly lulls me to sleep; and as I enter a dream state I dream of being in a room with my father who has been dead for ten years now. We are in a room that is familiar to the both of us. It is the room he shared with my mother in his waking hours; in the house that we lived in when I was a child. Sitting at t the foot end of the bed he squints at me from the other end of the bed. He looks diffrent, from the last time I saw him in the ICU at Jefferson. He seemed to have a glow about him, not an angelic or celestial one, but as if he had gotten really good sleep the night before. I remember thinking that this astral visit thing isn’t as hard I throught it would be; albiet I am laying in the lap of the Lord of Lord,King of Kings, Prince of Peace. He was yampering on about something while I am tuning himout trying to figure out how the hell I am talking to a man that has been dead for nearly ten years. When I finally tuned back in he’s talking about how proud of me he is about getting into college and graduating. Then he asked me why I didn’t cry much at his party, I am like ‘dude what party?’ Then he flashes an authoritative expression, and I get a glance in my mind’s eye. He talking about his funeral. I remind him of the time when I was a kid and my pet dog Bam-Bam died, and he told me that “real men don’t cry.” So I told him “ I was just trying to be a man” I told him “that shit was kinda sudden,” he smiled slapped me on the shoulder and told me to keep pushing.”

As I pulled my eyelids open, and wipped at the dried tears and mucus from my mug, Jesus is telling me that our stop is coming up, and that I should get my bag. As I looked out the window I could see the sunlight bounce off the marble monuments, and the faces of the tourists bumbling from one end of the mall to the other.

As we stroll toward the Lincoln Memorial I am telling Jesus about all the historic things that have happened here; including the time a guy by the name of Dr. Martin Luther King gave a famous speech in this very space. As I ramble on Jesus stops me to explain the importance of dreams. I guess he wants to revisit what I was crying about on the bus earlier. I continue my excited rant about Dr. King and how I think he’s a modern prophet, and how his speeches remind me of Jeremiah in the Hebrew Bible. He’s walking on the grass, and I am balancing on the edge of the Reflecting Pool. Since we are both tired from the walk, we chill by the side of the pool. As I stare at the ducks and the old people feeding them Jesus asks me to revisit the root of the problem I brought up on the bus earlier. I am trying to explain myself but it’s not coming out right. So I went on rambling it sounded something like this. “Look man I am an American, and I have a bug called success. Spawned by a virus called ambition.” I glare at him and ask him is there anything wrong with wanting money. “So one time me and my cousin went to a strip joint, and I couldn’t give into the illusion that all these beautiful women were taking all their clothes off for me. I just couldn’t.......” He motions me to breath. “What about you Bikim, what do you want?” Here I am in the heart of this beautiful nation and I have no clue what it is that I want. He asked me he fucking asked me and I couldn’t produce an answer. My head is spinning, this guy carried a 2 ton cross up a hill in Palestine and I can’t pull one goal out my ass. So I took a deep breathe and said “ I just wanna help these crazy ass niggas!” He smiled at me, all day and I finally got a smile that wasn’t corny. He patted me on the back and said “lets walk.”



(To be continued....Maybe)



Repose:



At the end of the day it’s kinda like life is like the red headed girl that Charlie Brown was always trying to wrap to but he could never quite work up the courage to do it. He would just look at her, and stand in awe of her beauty til he fell on his back trying to split the upright, but always ending up on his back. Then as he lie there in awe of the blue skies and clouds it commands, he’d surely utter “good grief.” I guess when I am trying to say is I am always looking at the beauty in life so hard that I sometimes get cought up in the picture, the movement of it’s smaller parts. Sometimes those smaller parts are people, sometimes those parts are the things people do. And the red headed-girl is she’d have to be unmistakably metaphor for all that I want for myself. I guess the football is the point of it all, I know the point really I guess I mean the vehicle by which will travel, or rather make it happen.

Dead Presidents and Charged Shards

Mediatation:

My Spirit teethered to my soul

hoovers overhead like a ghetto-bird

omniscent view of my body

piercing view of my mind

dreaming about five star lobbies.



Slowly close my eyes

peer into the sky

searching the blue space

for a brief escape

panoramic view

this place is askew

is this morning view on my face

no its emotional condensation

accumulated from much prayer

and contemplation.



Rip:



Our father who art in heaven,

we thank you for the human connection.



Give us this day our daily bread,

sustain our bodies to face adversities while the world pounces on our heads.



Forgive us our trespasses,

because sometimes I can’t give to myself.



As we forgive those who trespass against us,

because without you there is no way out.



Lead us not into temptation,

because of grace and freedom there is enough out there for us.



But deliver us from evil,

because as your children of God trying to get our niche filled we spill blood.



Thank you for giveness.



For thine is the kingdom,

the one in heaven we all aspire to.

The power,

that none of us poses our own.



And the glory,

all of which belongs to the heavens.



In Jesus name I pray



Amen.

Only Fools Fall in Love

After letting things breathe a bit I think it is fair on my part to say a bit more about the tragedy that plagued my country eight years ago. Terrorism is akin to gang activity on a global scale, and new and innovative methods are needed to not only protect citizens at home and abroad, but diplomacy is the only course of action. I am sure that those who are charged with protecting our rights and freedoms are working to protect us in this matter. The human heart is the most complicated thing known to humanity, it is so admired through that ages that it was the only organ in the body that Egyptians placed back in the body when mummified in the hopes that it would guide them in the next world. The book of Psalms a collection of prayers written by King David expresses himself very candidly in the presence of the divine. In the 120th Psalm, David the Psalmist cries to the Lord in the spirit of breveavment over his course of action, in response to something that was causing him a great deal of pain. I am not sure what his course of action was after the fact but he is hailed as one of the greatest men who ever lived. The last line of the Psalm goes: I am a man of peace but when I speak they are for war. No one knows what happened after this but the creator and David, but one could assume that the best course of action was taken to cause the least amount of harm. His successor, and son Solomon spread wisdom like seeds on fresh fertile soil; in his offering of Proverbs he speaks a lot to the frailties of the mind and heart of foolish men. The perpetrators of 9/11 were very foolish men with no sight of what the true aim of their spiritual tradition beckons in all that choose that path.

The divine has been trying to reach us via his messengers for ages, and like stubborn children we have been hanging up the phone. The perpetrators of the America’s new day of infamy were lonely, tired souls, who may have been taken advantage of because of their affinity for the Divine. The spiritual tradition that I subscribe to tells me to love my enemies, but I never forget that I am counseled by Christ in that he tells us “to be sly as the serpent and innocent as doves.” I am not opposed to war just unwise unjust wars. I know peace can sound all corny, and Lennonesque (John Lennon that is) but if you know peace you understand. After being urged by Thich Nhat Hanh, Martin Luther King spoke out against the war in Vietnam he quipped in response to the ‘political’ climate at the time “ my nation is the greatest purveyor of violence in the world today” Dr. King gave his heart to the country that he loved, as did those men and women in uniform today that lay their lives on the line to protect what we call freedom here in America. But I challenge it is extremely hard to sell a ‘product’ like peace and democracy at the wrong end of a rifle. I think what Dr. King was saying in reference to the raging war in Vietnam, when he said ‘one of the greatest in the world today’ is that there is a possibility of change and redemption. Even for a nation’s collective sins.